Monday, August 06, 2001

We've been married for twenty years.

I have to credit that to luck rather than virtue. When the bad times came, we had just enough strength left to be kind to each other, or at least not cruel. When the good times came, we enjoyed them more because the other partner was happy. And through it all, we've been each other's closest friend.

Old relationships are nice. You don't have to talk to each other to be together. You can raise an eyebrow and convey an encyclopedia. You trust each other enough that you confess some -- not all -- of the scaly lizard thoughts, and find out that the other person isn't surprised or offended. Even when you're angry, you remember and are restrained by the underlying affection and respect. Most of all, you trust each other. To do the right thing, to back you up, and to love you.

We have real differences. I like conflict; he avoids it. I'm some flavor of theist; he's an atheist. It has never occurred to either of us to try to convert the other; we respect one another too much for that. He's bright, he's educated, and he has never had had the experiences that have led me to believe in a Deity. He came to my baptism, and was proud of me; he doesn't believe in God, but he doesn't think it's stupid that I do.

When we were first married, I was threatened by my husband's reading Playboy. (I didn't try to stop him; he is and was a free agent, and I'm not that kind of fool.) Nowadays, I point out to him women whose bodies might be his type. He assures me this is unnecessary. ;-) Similarly, he's amused rather than threatened by my little Spike problem. Because we both know that eye candy is nice, but it can't compete with true love.

I am so very blessed.

Sunday, August 05, 2001

Christian bumper sticker du jour:
Don't leave Earth Without Him!

Day 7 of migraine.